Given the projected 2024 Democratic Presidential nominee, there has been a lot of negative commentary with a considerable focus on Vice President Harris’ gender. Despite your best efforts, political conversations in the office may be inevitable, but employee references to outdated or demeaning terms should never be permitted. To this point, how often are grown women called “girls” where you work? How many of you have said or heard, “My girl in accounting can help you,” “I’ll have my girl contact you to set up that meeting” or “I’ll get our marketing girl on it”?

Once a person identifying as female reaches the age of 18,they have earned the right to be referred to as a woman. At 18, a woman can get married without parental permission, vote, enlist in the military, enter into a legally binding contract, work full-time, serve on a jury, open a bank account, get a tattoo, buy cigarettes, sign a lease for an apartment, sky dive and buy a lottery ticket. Age 18 brings with it vast opportunities, responsibilities and respect which should be accompanied by age-appropriate language. Referring to a female contemporary or even a supervisor as a “girl” remains demeaning, irrespective of whether the speaker is male or female. Adult females are women and deserve to be called women.

In July 2018, reporter Melia Robinson wrote in Business Insider about the owners of Silicon Valley tech investing firm Urban Innovation Fund. The company had raised more than $22.5 million to invest in startups. The co-founders were Clara Brenner and Julie Lien, both 33 years old and clearly neither is a girl. However, they reported being referred to frequently as “girls” even by those who were seeking their venture capital money to fund business ideas. The reference came often from benign email greetings such as “Hey girls” or “Thanks, girls, for having us.” But Brenner said being called a “girl” “just grinds my gears.”

Consider the similar term “boy,” which was long ago eliminated from common employment parlance. Why? Referring to a man as “boy” is emasculating, connotes servitude and a gross imbalance of power, perhaps even bringing to mind an uglier time in American history when slavery was legal. Today, hearing “boy” used in the workplace makes most people wince. Society has shifted from using “boy” to using “guy.” Think: “the IT guy,” the “marketing guy” or “the warehouse guy.” Still, guy is not the equivalent of girl.

Even referring to a female whose role in the workplace is perceived as less important in the hierarchy of high-paying jobs, such as a sales clerk, flight attendant, restaurant server, billing assistant, or housekeeper as the “girl”, is unacceptable, and the repeated unwelcome use of such term can lead to legal claims of discrimination and harassment if accompanied by other factors.

The real working girls most of us see in our worlds are camp counselors, babysitters, lifeguards and those employed with work permits signed by a parent or guardian. If used to refer to any other adult female, it’s simply insulting.

But what about the fact that women call other women “girls”? A group of adult female friends often refer to themselves as “the girls,” and a “girls’ night out” implies the company of adult females. Frequently, we hear women express camaraderie or praise among themselves with phrases such as “You go girl!” or “Attagirl!” or “Girl Power!” Why is that OK? It all goes back to welcomed vs. unwelcomed behavior.

Like all things, context matters. Given historical inequities, men should simply never use the word in the workplace and, unless in established friendships, women should refrain from using the word if they are in imbalanced work relationships.

The bottom line is words have meaning, literally and emotionally. Words frame how we perceive others and can be evidence of an unconscious bias, implying that one gender is inferior to another. Believing that “girl” is equivalent to “man” assumes a power structure where men are superior to women.

Some people may need some consistent, gentle reminders. Substitute terms for “girl” include colleague, co-worker, team-member, workmate, associate, collaborator and fellow employee. Alternatively, women can be referenced with their appropriate business title, such as owner, funder, partner, executive, director, manager, supervisor, apprentice, or team-lead.

It’s well past time to elevate our language to ensure adult women are given the proper respect deserved and we use age-appropriate terms.

For questions about your workplace culture and other employment issues, contact your RKW employment attorney.

*Originally published in The Daily Record on September 6, 2018, reprinted with permission with updates.

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